Vitriol
© 2003 by Andersen Silva (7-1-03)

Guys like me, we don't know how it feels,
  Absentee even closing the deal,
But every player there's a payoff in the final reel,
  But never with guys like me...

Perhaps it's just a coincidence. That's the likely explanation, and I'm not one to disagree with Hume's Fork. But it's interesting that, for several weeks, any time I tried to visit Aaron McGruder's "The Boondocks" Web site, I got a "not found" error. Then, in last month's Vitriol, I made a mention of that fact, and suddenly the site is back up. Maybe Ashcroft is backing off now that he knows someone is paying attention. Heh-heh-heh...!

Why are people so fscking rude aboard public transportation vehicles? Well, I'm sure it's got something to do with why they're so rude in general... but lately I'm noticing more and more how inconsiderately loud so many people are on the trains and buses. It's not usually too bad on the train I take in the morning, and I suppose the implication is that most of those people are businesspeople on their way to offices in Manhattan, and they're somehow more polite than the people with whom I share a bus ride, many of whom are working in retail, factories, and less-stuffy offices in Jersey. I can't fully accept that. But I do know that the decibel level on the 83 bus is uncomfortably high in the mornings due to a group who sit at the back and must be suffering from hearing loss despite not being of advanced ages. I have to blast music through my earbuds to drown them out, and I'm not always successful.

Not really sure what my point is. I suppose I'm just lamenting the decline of civility. It's not the first time I've addressed some aspect of this issue, and I'm certainly not the first person to do so. I just wish there were some way to change people's attitudes. I mean, I'm not wrong in feeling that everyone on a train or bus is entitled to a relatively quiet and peaceful ride... am I? Perhaps the problem lies with New Jersey Transit and its employees (and the other bus and train companies, too) for not listing and enforcing a set of common-sense regulations for passengers.

Anyway, enough about that... AA World Class had its Company picnic last Friday at Van Saun Park in Paramus, as we have for the past few years. The weather was nice (finally!), so I decided to bring my Danelectro guitar and the gig bag with the amp built-in and get some guitar-playin' time in. A lot of my co-workers expressed curiosity about the bag and the guitar; a few of them hadn't even realized that I play. But even most of the people who claimed they wanted to hear me play didn't bother coming around to listen when I did plug in and tune up. Oh, well. Fortunately, I don't write and play for them, but for myself.

Between playing in the park and working on recording "Hole in the Wall" for my album, I've built up a nice set of callouses on the fingers of my right hand again. The trick is to keep playing, and playing, to keep them there, otherwise... well, it just gets painful if you don't have callouses and you suddenly play hard for any real length of time. "Hole" is coming along pretty well, I think. It's a song I first conceived of back around 1990-91, and I wrote the intro poem (though I'm not sure I intended it to be part of the song at the time) and the fadeout ("And it HURTS!" "But it feels good...") then, but never finished the lyrics or came up with any real music. All I knew was that, in my head at least, it was a song that was missing from Pink Floyd's magnificent "The Wall," and I needed to make it sound like it would fit on that album.

The song is about a man who has built that Wall, who has locked himself away from anything that could hurt him, and who eventually realizes that the love he seeks requires lowering his defenses and exposing himself to the possibility of pain and loss. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, basically. Like many of my songs, there's a bit of me in there. I've always identified with Pink, the protagonist of "The Wall," a bit, and different women along my travels have pointed out with concern and dismay that I've put up walls of my own. The better among them have helped me pull some of those walls down...

I finally finished the lyrics to "Hole in the Wall" in 2001. I guess I couldn't accurately write about heartbreak and deliberately making onself vulnerable for the sake of love until I'd lived it. In 1991, I was too naïve to depict such soulful ideas. Of course, some would say that I wasn't quite ready in 2001, either. I started piecing together the music two weeks ago. It's not easy trying to duplicate the feel of not only a specific band but a specific album. You'll have to tell me what you think once I'm done.

Yesika, Luigui, and I saw "The Matrix Reloaded" on the IMAX screen in New York last weekend. Even the people who found fault with the storyline or the acting cannot fault the visuals in this movie, and WOW, did they kick ass on that large canvas. Lui and one of his other friends and I are going to see Metallica (and a few other bands in whom I'm not especially interested) next Tuesday, which should also be quite ass-kicking. I need to listen to "St. Anger," the new album, a few more times, but so far I like it, though not as much as "Master of Puppets" or "Load." No guitar solos! No wonder some fans are outraged... Heh-heh.

In addition to that show, I'll see Mart Rivas tomorrow night at CBGB, and Iron Maiden, Motorhead, and Dio towards the end of July. And Ringo Starr in early August. I'm taking in more music this year than in the past five! Now if only the Go-Gos would come to the East Coast...

I see you schmucks have no opinions whatsoever on what I should or shouldn't call the album. Well, it does all come back to me in the end... I'm still thinking that maybe Joey Ramone's Dead would be too dated at this point, but I'm not certain what I'd like to use instead. Blond on Blonde? Flaming Panties? Shark Sandwich? Live at Cleveland? C'mon, surely you've got some thoughts...
  - A (webmaster@andersensilva.com)


April 2004 - The real final Vitriol, Howard Stern, Dubya, etc.
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March 2004 - Dining out with my baby, Virtual PC, and the end of Vitriol... or is it?
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February 2004 - Two weeks between jobs, three new songs, grabbing Panther by the tail
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January 2004 - Ice skating with Gina, sushi at my sister's wedding, war-riding, the pink slip
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December 2003 - Moving pains, goin' places with Gina, Christmas bells
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November 2003 - The looong month of October, finding an apartment, Ozzy's gone
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October 2003 - I'm in love with her and I feel fine, Boston, the Dalai Lama, apartment for rent?
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September 2003 - Andy, happy? it could happen!, taking time off from work, Ringo Starr, "Discworld," the blackout
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August 2003 - (W)here (M)ight (D)ose WMDs be?, gay marriages and the people who fear them, '80s metal bands, Computer Man to the rescue, Philadelphia freedom
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July 2003 - Boondocks.net is back!, rudeness on public transportation and elsewhere, "Hole in the Wall"
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June 2003 - Science fiction movies, where is Boondocks.net?, still no weapons of misconstruction...
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May 2003 - How 'bout them weapons of mass distraction, huh?, Def Leppard, Michael Palin, another Silva, wireless networking, and a damned good raspberry margarita
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April 2003 - They're still French fries, dammit!, a new guitar for Andy, music-music-music
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March 2003 - The buildup for, and the protesting against, war
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February 2003 - The destruction of the Columbia, the National Day of Poetry Against the War, hard and soft atheism, Pete Townshend, and the gift shop
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January 2003 - Christmas loot, "Swingin'," more war talk
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December 2002 - The year in review, moving again?!?, moving world leaders around, too
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November 2002 - "Scarlet's Walk" and Tori's penguin, jackasses, and killing in the name of...
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October 2002 - Boston, Aimee Mann, and Palpatine/Bush
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September 2002 - George Darius Bush and George Xerxes Bush
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August 2002 - Movin' out of Paisan-town, and far away from the Regal Beagle
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July 2002 - Church and state: you gotta keep 'em separated, Dubya still doesn't want to play nice with the rest of the world, John Entwistle's gone
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June 2002 - Movin' on from town to town, Dave Barry and the Rock Bottom Remainders
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May 2002 - Science fiction movies everywhere!, jail time for virus creators, Dubya finally learns to pronounce 'occupation,' Andy gets a promotion?!?
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April 2002 - Terrorism on both sides of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, people who don't interact with me or the Web site, "For Dana" to be released on a compilation CD
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March 2002 - Chip implants, the children of God and the followers of Christ commit murder in His name, ultranationalism American style
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February 2002 - Dubya says, "These pretzels are making me- ack!" Sharon continues playing Napoleon, and... the return of Foogar?
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January 2002 - Rob Zombie, Ozzy Osbourne, and other Christmas-related items, stealin' cars, karaoke!
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December 2001 - George meets his sweet lord, terrorists EVERYwhere!, Tomb Raider II finished finally, and the Segway, finally!
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November 2001 - Anthrax (the band), WSOU rocks - but for how much longer? and a minute of silence?
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October 2001 - Osama bin Laden and anthrax and the women who love them
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September 2001 - Governments and armies and the assholes who love them, more misspellings, and a large lack of feedback
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August 2001 - Dubya's isolationism, the Macedonians and Albanians search for peace the Israeli/Palestinian way, 2004 Olympics in Beijing
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July 2001 - Not the Sexiest Geek Alive, war (what is it good for?), murdering citizens American-style
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June 2001 - A dead hitchhiker, the Taliban, and an independent Senator Jeffords
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May 2001 - Joey Ramone's dead, and "Joey Ramone's Dead"
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April 2001 - Brazil (not the Terry Gilliam film), Dubya and carbon dioxide, Yugoslavia begins coming to its senses, Israel and the Palestinians still haven't come to theirs...
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March 2001 - New look for the Web site, upcoming vacation in Brazil!, the pig-headed Taliban, "Hannibal"
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February 2001 - Tomb Raider II, Dubya plays with his new toys, nature plays with El Salvador and India, and the inevitable Chechnya and Israel/Palestinians references
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January 2001 - Snow, a new year/decade/century/millennium, screen resolutions
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December 2000 - The iBook, "The X-Files," the Grinch, the pathetic turn of events in the U.S. elections...
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November 2000 - Got the iBook! the Village Parade, trouble still brewin' in the Mideast, the upcoming U.S. elections...
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October 2000 - Andy turns 30, the Middle East, the anniversary of the invasion of Chechnya...
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September 2000 - A random act of kindness, Great Adventure, new music, new iBooks?
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August 2000 - Palestine and the Israelis, Milosevic, Speight, and breaking the speed of light!
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July 2000 - Israel & the Palestinians, the missile defense shield, and (who'da thunk it?) Chechnya
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June 2000 - Um, Chechnya again, gun-totin' Charlton Heston, misspellings, and xenophobes
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May 2000 - Communism on the last May Day of the twentieth century, and Andy's life ("Don't talk to me about life...")
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April 2000 - Hold on, it's more Chechnya rantin', and an appeal on behalf of a friend caught behind red tape
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March 2000 - Hey, hey, Pinochet, Russia and China won't go away, "The X-Files," the American presidential race, and a prelude to vacation
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February 2000 - Again with the Chechens, and Elián, Pinochet, mp3.com vs. the recording industry, and snow
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January 2000 - Made it through January 1st, Syria and Israel, public transportation, and, er, Chechnya
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December 1999 - Indonesia comes apart, Chechnya (no shit), Seattle's burning, 'n Happy Xmas
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November 1999 - Halloween, my bad knee, Russians? in Chechnya?!? Buchanan and the Reform Party, NIN
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October 1999 - Hurricane on the East Coast, earthquakes in Taiwan, Turkey, and Greece, and Apple Computers
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September 1999 - I'm not getting you down, am I? I'd hate to think I was getting you down...

- - - the Dark Ages (reprise) - - -

April 1999 - the return of Vitriol, Kosovo, a foreshadowing of the Russian invasion of Chechnya (!), and Libya

- - - the Dark Ages - - -

September-November 1995 - the Underground Press Conference, a co-worker bites the dust, Rabin really bites the dust, Remington Bond, Win95, and the Sex Pistols
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August 1995 - the death penalty, the V-chip and violence in pop culture, and "TV Nation"
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June 1995 - Oklahoma City, 'zines, "The X-Files" and "V.R.5"
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March 1995 - I'm sick!, the space program (ha), alt.zines, "Star Trek" and "Voyager"
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February 1995 - the very first Vitriol! Newt Gingrich, political correctness, media overkill, Howard Stern, the Apple goon squad?
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