I have been writing sporadically since I was 12 or so, mostly science fiction at first, then some poetry, essays, songs... I used the Extreme, my short-lived literary 'zine, to showcase some of my fiction and poetry, though I gave more space to other writers; Vitriol, a semi-regular column, became my forum for venting, and it lived on in a monthly electronic format here on my Web site for a few years, before being replaced by Being..., which in turn has been replaced by my 'blog at LiveJournal. My writing reveals much about me, although one shouldn't assume that every word of the stories, poems, and songs is strictly autobiographical and based on my personal reality. Much of it is, some of it ain't. Some characters are based on me and people I've known, some are totally made up. I have a poetic license with no restrictions and several points. I express myself through my writing, but that doesn't mean that every word should be taken literally. Copyright stipulations apply to the pieces here; please don't steal my work. Heh-heh... But do tell me if you like (or dislike) anything you read. Criticism is always welcome...!

Fiction

Genre Sais Quois
I wrote this one for the Extreme: it was a half-serious attempt to cover all the bases (science fiction, fantasy, romance, detective, horror, cyberpunk, etc.).

Oh, No, Not Again
This short-short is almost a work of nonfiction; I wrote it after seeing someone who may or may not have been a love interest a few years prior...

Untitled
And this happy number is from the same time period.  ;)  Overflowing with joy, wasn't I?

Essays / Columns / Rants

Happiness in Slavery
A rant about not being free, and being quite comfortable with it.

On Atheism
Self-explanatory, though I feel my stance has softened a bit more since I wrote this.

On Illiteracy
This'll probably get me some badly written hate E-mail. Heh-heh-heh...! Oh, well. A pet peeve...

On -isms
A surprising number of people on this planet would rather have someone else do all the thinking for them.

On Liberty and Justice for All
This will likely garner me some hate mail, too, but I do feel it's time to start playing fair with the rest of the world.

On the Form of Love
The second of three works I've conceived while meandering illegally through a park after hours. I don't always agree with Plato, but something about the Theory of the Forms makes sense to me.

Open Letter of Resignation from Toys "R" Us
I fully intended to hand copies of this out to all my fellow employees upon quitting; several of them did see it. But I was talked out of self-termination by the Assistant Store Director after she'd read my letter and agreed that I'd made some valid points. Two weeks later, though, I didn't see any signs of impending change, so I handed out the last two issues of the Underground Giraffe and walked out.

Personifesto
I think I wrote this for the September '95 issue of the Extreme, which never materialized.

Rant against the 'Underground' Press Conference
This was written (ahead of time) for Just About 10 PM Somewhere In Chicago, the compilation 'zine that four of us put together while attending the UPC.

Undelivered Speech for Benjamin Amoruso
A lot of in-jokes here, but it should still be enjoyable even if you don't work for AA World Class. At the Company Christmas party in 2000, a few of the executives decided to give the President an award, and they'd planned to have a few people speak. When I was asked if I'd do it, I decided to write up this little beauty, which probably has Shakespeare spinning in his grave.  ;)  It's also got Lennon references (the party was held on the anniversary of John's death), a wee little bit of Run-DMC, and an ambiguous message. But when Dawn presented the award, she was so nervous and flustered, she forgot to ask if anyone wanted to come up to the mike! Ah, well; might've been for the best.

Y2K Rant
Controversial and liable to start arguments, even among people I know.  ;)   I wrote this at the end of 1999, when the masses were preparing for what they thought was the end of the millennium...

Poetry

Awe?
This poem is the third item I came up with while clearing my head in the park at night; I was feeling sad, defiant, and inspired. I came up with most of it right then and kept it in my head 'til a few days later, when I wrote it down and added a little to it. Actually writing with pen and paper is a rare occurrence for me anymore, most of my stuff goes straight from my head to the computer.

Burned on the Fourth of July
Wrote this one in Ocean City, Maryland, in 2001. Silly, ain't it?

But, Seriously
A whimsical take on fate and mortality. I realized long ago that I could die. I sometimes fear, though, that I never will.  ;)

Closed
This short poem is rather bleak and fatalistic. It wasn't terribly accurate, either, but it does make use of the phrase 'cold blue eyes' from the revised PeacherPoem. I didn't remember ever using it in another poem; I'm not sure which of the two came first, though they're very contemporary.

Control
I also realized long ago that there's something of the control freak in me. It generally applies only to myself, though, so I guess that's not too bad. This poem addresses one aspect of this tendency.

Gasp...
Written during an idle moment at work at Toys, this poem has become the favorite among mine of several people, including me, I think. I was not especially maudlin or sad that night, just introspective. I'd typed it up on one of the terminals, and unknowingly printed a copy to a printer in a different area of the store; when I reported for work again two days later, my concerned manager confronted me with it and asked if everything was all right.   lol

Kismet Ass
Some of you will doubtless cry foul. "This is too short to be considered a poem!" Oh, well. The verse and the title said exactly what I wanted to say, with no extra verbiage. Don't like it? Tough.

No, I'm Not
An alienated sequel to the PreacherPoem, below. These poems, and the song "Human Thing" and its sequel, "J-ded," are all of a piece. They all convey, to varying degrees, my love, anger, despair, and hope with regards to the human race.

Passed
Maybe this is a tired subject, but you really don't know what you've got 'til it's gone, and that doesn't apply only to romance. In this poem, I address lost youth.

PreacherPoem (original)
PreacherPoem (transitional)
PreacherPoem (revised)
The original "PreacherPoem" was written in response to a friend's inquiring about my lack of a love life. Obviously, it deals with more than that, though, and I later wrote a more general revision. It also expounded further on my 'Preacher' self-image. I started the revision a year or so after the original, after an ugly and drawn-out breakup with a girl who used the Velvet Underground's "Pale Blue Eyes" to describe my own ocular globes; my reference in the poem to one 'cold blue eye' was deliberate. I still like my phrase better.  ;)   I re-discovered the 'transitional' poem in April 2000; it's more of a first draft of the revision, though I never finished this version, and obviously I almost completely altered it.

Rhythmic Musing
A short poem, written in dactylic trimeter for an English course; this is the oldest poem I still have, dating from September 1990. It went over well with the professor, who admired my skill and humor.

Rode
It was a dark and stormy afternoon when we left Joinville, in the state of Santa Catarina in Brazil, and as the bus made its way up and around the mountains, this is what my pen put to my pad.

So Much More
I've always found it easier to communicate on paper (and now over the Internet) than verbally. I actually make a good public speaker, but without laying my ideas out beforehand I tend to overlook points, go off on tangents, get things out of order... And of course there's a certain comfort in writing something alone in privacy as opposed to saying it to someone...

Stoic
When I first read Shakespeare's Julius Caesar and encountered Stoicism in Brutus, I was captivated, and recognized it in myself. I am both more and less stoic now than I was then at 15 or so... But I'm not sure why I gave that title to this poem, written six years later.

Stranger
Another of the Preacher's poems, written around the same time as "No, I'm Not" and sharing its feel and non-rhyming scheme. I make reference to Pink Floyd's The Wall, which is my favorite album of all time; its theme of withdrawal from and defending against the outside world has always struck a chord within me.

The Eyes
I like it when a woman can meet my eyes. I constantly refer to them as 'cold,' but it seems that my eyes are in fact quite striking and have been complimented time and time again. They havebeen warmed by a special woman, though these days I suppose they're back to being cold...

The Struggle
Fun with words, and lots more rhyming than most of my poetry has. It's rather dark, really, but I love it nonetheless.

Thou Shalt Not
In early 2003, as the administration of President George Dubya Bush tried to conceal its eagerness to go to war with Iraq, Poets Against the War as a peaceful protest began gathering poetry for its cause. I wrote and contributed this.

The Tunnel
Has my writing scared anyone yet? I thought this one up while riding a New Jersey Transit bus back from Manhattan. Yes, that's a bit creepy. I don't care. Do you honestly think the Tunnel is impervious to attack by design or accident? ...I considered recording this with Not An Exit, but who knows?

American in London
This one was written on a park bench in London, in daylight, though I'd made the decision to write such a song in the week or so before leaving for the U.K. It's a tribute to, and a mild parody of, Sting's "Englishman in New York;" The cadence follows his song's, though the music is mine.

Blond on Blonde
A lot of my songwriting is very autobiographical in nature; this one is not.   ;)  Well, maybe very loosely, in that I do have a predilection for blondes. But I'm not as far gone as the guy in the song...! I like the way this recording turned out, kinda pop-punk.

Christmas Lonely
Yes, it's a Christmas song, and it even features some sleigh bell action. I thought about writing this song one Christmas, then actually did it the following year. I've spent more Christmases without love than with, but that doesn't make being alone any easier, and you just can't cuddle with a twelve-string guitar...

D.V.
This started out as a poem, another one I wrote while at work (United Jersey Bank this time). Later I decided it'd make a good song. In the early Not An Exit days, I recorded a brief, sparse demo, intending to give this song a vintage mid-'60s organ-based sound. I've since changed my mind, and when I do get around to recording "D.V." for my album, it should make an interesting metal tune. This one is mildly autobiographical; I'm not sure what to make of them, but I have experienced flashes of deja vú from time to time.

Dances on Clouds
If you've never been with someone who made you dance on clouds, I'm sorry. The phrase came to mind after a romantic interlude, and as it has a Native American sound to it, I decided to deliberately avoid placing the young couple of the song in any specific place or time; they could be Sioux lovers of the 18th century, or Australians of the 21st. When I recorded this in March of 2004, I tried to give it a hint of Native American flavor...

Dangerous Babies
Neil Young, Bob Dylan, and others are writing songs about the war pigs (again), and so I felt the need to write one myself. I didn't want to write something specific to this war or this president, or even to U.S. presidents specifically, however; it's a mindset I have a problem with, the "my people, right or wrong" attitude, the feeling that our way is the right way and "if you're not with us, you're against us." I tried to balance the song and point out that both the "coalition of the willing" and the other evildoers won't let the deaths of innocents interfere with their causes.

Dorable
Written after a first (well, only) date gone horribly wrong.  :0

Down the Shore
A friend told me about a DJ on a quest for the 'perfect' Jersey shore song during the summer of 2005... so I wrote one myself. I never heard back from Mr. DJ, but I like the song, anyway. The recording has a surf sound to it, only with more of a techno bass.

Drabbard
I'd started working on the music to this one long before coming up with any lyrics, or even thinking about writing a song about writing songs. It reminds me a little of my poem "Rhythmic Musing," and in fact my delivery is closer to reciting than to singing.

Extreme Close-Up, Then Fade to Black
I sure do like that e word, don't I? I took this title from the subject of a morose E-mail I sent some of my lucky friends during my black days in early 2000. I wasn't quite so down when I actually wrote the song, months later, though the theme is one that is forever present in me. The music and lyrics are somewhat inspired by NIN's The Downward Spiral and The Fragile.

For Dana
Raw, beautiful pain.

Forlorn, Forsaken... Forgotten?
I was brooding over a friend's behavior when I conceived this song. While fleshing it out, I realized that the emotions could be applied equally well to a lover or a family member, so I left the references fairly vague. I was out of my funk by the time I completed these NINish lyrics; I think the sound is a mix of Nine Inch Nails and Not An Exit!

Frendy Tucker
The Offspring's "Smash" influenced the lyrics, and I threw in a sorta Arabic lick on the guitar, too. I'm not a big fan of 'frendy tuckers.'

Hannah's Song
Gina jokingly remarked to me that I should write a song to help her daughter, Hannah, learn how to spell her name. I took it as a challenge, and wrote and recorded this just a few short weeks later. Both mother and daughter seem to enjoy it (Gina's been forced to listen to it repeatedly in the car a few times!), though I don't think I'll ever be a Raffi. At least, I hope not.

Heavywait
A rare second-person story about not always being with your loved one when you'd love to be with her; I wrote it while Gina was away in April 2004, but that doesn't mean you should take it too literally.

Hole in the Wall
I finally wrote it, almost ten years later! "Amateur Blues" (recorded by Not An Exit waaay back) was the first musical idea for a song I ever had; the intro and ending to this song comprised the first lyrical idea, back in 1991. I conceived "Hole" as a song that would have been right at home on Pink Floyd's The Wall, maybe between "Nobody Home" and "Vera." Perhaps I can get Roger to sing it someday... Anyway, I guess it was better that I waited to write it until I had a little more perspective. And yes, it is ballsy of me to think I can write a song for The Wall, but, hey, I think it works.  :)

Human Thing
If memory serves, this was also first written as a poem, back when the phrase, "It's a black thing, you wouldn't understand" was big. I ended up matching this thing to a Bo Diddley beat and some very simplistic chords, and I recorded a quick demo so I'd remember how it went. When I finally recorded "Human Thing" four years later, I had to have the lyrics in front of me, because I'd never bothered to memorize them! The industrial take on the song managed to keep the Diddley beat, more or less...Six years after that, I re-recorded the track, and (I think) did it more justice.

I'll Live
This song is very much tongue-in-cheek. I guess the narrator is related to the guy in John Entwistle's "I Found Out" and the one in the Police's "On Any Other Day." Think you're having a bad day? It could be worse.

J-ded
Wrote and recorded this one in January and February of 2000. I'd written the first two verses years earlier, actually, as a direct response to Billy Joel's song, "Angry Young Man." I like his song, but I don't like its declaring that one eventually grows out of social and political awareness and protest and activism. "J-ded" is also very much a sequel to "Human Thing," and I think I got the industrial sound down better the second time around.

Joey Ramone's Dead
Though not a diehard, seen-'em-fifty-times kinda Ramones fan, I did love the guys, and I did get to see them once, and I was stunned when the big kid Joey died. I E-mailed a few friends to tell them the bad news once I'd heard, and I half-decided then that I'd use the E-mail subject as the title to my CD. A week or two later, I wrote the chorus to the title track, and I finished the lyrics about a month after that. It's obviously not just about Joey Ramone...  ;)

Joy in the New
Sometimes I just don't know when to quit.  ;)  This song is basically an update to "Joy in the Now," which itself references another of my songs. Early in 2003, I found myself running through "Joy in the Now" on the guitar with a different rhythm and feel than the recorded version; having composed new lyrics, I re-recorded the music with that new feel but the same drums (slowed down and pumped up a bit) in January 2004.

Joy in the Now
Happy, happy, joy, joy... Like Pete Townshend, the songwriter I think I'm most influenced by, I can write the occasional lighthearted song in the midst of all the moody or angry ones! This is about a night and a day when nothing else mattered; the first line is in complete opposition to the opening line of another song...

Lonely Blue Dreams
When Jon and I were coming up with songs and ideas for Not An Exit back in '92, we thought it'd be cool to each write a song entitled "Lonely Blue Dreams" in a lyrical and musical style like Roy Orbison's. We did write our respective songs, though neither has been recorded.

Look at the Stars with Me
The theme of this song, two lovers apart looking into the night sky at the same time, came to me back in 1999, as did the idea for the intro, a short bit of drumming inspired by Led Zeppelin's "When the Levee Breaks." I think I put together the drums in '99 or '00, and I had a basic melody in my head, but I didn't put pen to paper to write all the lyrics until 2003. This song was recorded in February '04.

Loster
A sad song, with a hint of self-directed anger. I was walking to the bus stop on my way home from work one fall evening in 2006 when the chorus just came to me; I jotted it down in my Treo so I wouldn't forget, and a week or two later I set about finishing the lyrics.

Not An Exit
The majority of the songs I've written have been 'lyrics first, music later.' Having started writing fiction and poetry long before attempting music, I guess I just find it easier that way. This is one of the few exceptions; Jon and I came up with the basic musical theme to "Not An Exit" one evening while jamming, and we liked the sound, so we started tinkering with it. Jon decided to name it, and developed more of the music, but we still didn't have lyrics, so a few weeks later, before I'd laid down a guitar take, I came up with these happy-go-lucky lines. Heh-heh-heh. Not An Exit is never going to be known for its light-hearted lyrics, I'm afraid... It was interesting to record this after a spate of more cheerful songs.

Rock and Roll Day
Theresa, a woman with great musical tastes, let me know about Rock and Roll Day, which the greeting card industry apparently decided was necessary; the news must've inspired me, because that night while I was jammin' on the Danelectro, I worked out almost half the music to this song; Theresa suggested lyrics about a channel manager who was pulling her hair out at work, and a tech support specialist who was drained from support calls, and so this is what I came up with.

Rockhopper
I wrote this from the point of view of one of my favorite penguins, the rockhoppers. Duh. I conceived the idea a few months before the animated hit "Happy Feet" came out at the end of 2006, actually, but I didn't get the lyrics out until January 2007. I tried not to get too silly, or too preachy.

Sandsong
Written after camping at Assateague Island and getting sand EVERYwhere and in everything. I like the way the narrator starts off admiring and in awe of the sand, and eventually...

Second Shot
I still get a chuckle from the line, "The fat we did chew." So does she, I think. This one was recorded in January 2004 in two days.

Six Months
The idea for this song came to me a bit before it had been six full months since 'the breakup.' Naturally, it took me an extra month or three to finish the lyrics; by that time, I'd already started working out the music, which I wanted to be reminiscent of late '70s-early '80s Who. Yes, the words are sad, but writing the song was (I think) cathartic for me.

Souls Broken
Another unhappy song, written about a month after "Christmas Lonely." Unlike that one, though, the music here isn't especially cheerful at all. Hmmm, the titles both sound like they were written by Yoda...

Source of Pain
I had John Hiatt's "Permanent Hurt" running through my head when I wrote this song, and so I used its meter for the verses. Isn't it funny how everything works out...?

Swingin' in the Park (After Dark)
The first of my park-inspired writings. I came up with the title, the swing feel, and the horns after I hopped off the swings. Seriously! This number was recorded by Not An Exit in August 2000, and by me solo in May 2003.

That's Just What I Am
Seeing Aimee Mann in Boston in 2002 first planted in my head the idea for a song with this title. At the time, I was thinking in terms of responding to her song "That's Just What You Are," and some of that concept was retained when I actually wrote the song almost a year later; I had a different woman in mind when I completed the lyrics, but some of them are plainly answering Aimee's challenges. I recorded this in January 2004.

The One
I believe this was the first set of lyrics I ever wrote as a song, though I've never really worked out the music beyond a basic melody in my head; to date it remains unrecorded. Time really does wound all heels, I've learned, but I see this situation differently now. Must be the experience...

Today
I wrote this on my 30th birthday, after realizing there aren't a whole lot of good birthday songs out there. It's more about good friends than about birthdays, though, and I dedicate it to all my friends, past, present, and (hopefully) future.

We Go On
Started writing this in the spring of 2004; the first verse of the chorus is actually imprinted on the Joy in the New CD. Some songs are harder to write than others, and while it's not especially long, I finished it two years later.

When Giant Giants Attack!
Very definitely inspired by Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers; I even mention them in the lyrics. Of course, I drew from the Fox Network in deciding on the song's title... I completed these lyrics the same day in January 2007 that I finished "Rockhopper," so I suppose it was a day for writing silly songs.