So, Andy, his mother Zila, and his best friend Barbara packed off to Brazil in early March 2001. I was all packed, too, had all my subroutines dumped into the iBook, when he decided not to bring it! Jerk. Luckily, I was able to transfer to the digital recorder; it's a bit tight, but it works. I've decided to recap the highlights of the trip here...
Babs and Andy spending an hour and a half in the Policia Federal line in Sao Paulo, waiting with all the other non-Brazilian citizens, was of course a highlight for me. Heh-heh-heh... And once they'd finally rejoined Zila, who'd breezed through as a citizen, it was on to Curitiba, where the mother and son reunion soon discovered that their luggage had decided to spend a few more hours in S.P. There was a suitcase and a cardboard box left on the baggage carousel, but neither held enough interest...
Arriving at the Hotel Eduardo VII, which Andy had booked over the Internet at Barbara's suggestion, they were duly impressed with the lobby. The musty, dingy rooms were another matter altogether! ;) Less than an hour after checking in, they'd decided it'd be best to find another hotel, and after visiting the Curitiba Palace, they were convinced.
After checking out of the roach motel and into the palace, they went shopping; Andy did need some footwear and clothing into which to change! A pair of sandals, a pair of shorts, a T-shirt, and some underwear (for both Andy and Barbara, though I think they purchased their own, and not a pile to share) later, they finally (finally!) showered and crashed a while, before heading out to walk the Rua das Flores and enjoy some fine dining at Mister Sheik. Back at the hotel, Zila retired to her room, and the soul twins to theirs; minutes later, Andy's luggage showed up! Damn. I was so hoping that he'd have to wear Barbara's pajamas... Heh-heh-heh! After dozing off several times with a copy of "Hannibal" in his hands, Andy admitted defeat, and the day was officially ended.
Saturday found Babs wearing her newly purchased outfit, from Lojas Americanas, which was to become something of a hangout for the trio. Andy had some trouble finding an ATM that would accept his card; hmmm, wonder whose fault that was? ;) There appears to have been a cheap (but good) lunch, some wandering... blah, blah, blah. Then for the good stuff; blisters on Andy's feet (not used to wearing sandals anymore, big guy), and angry red thighs. That's all I'm gonna say. :::snicker::: The ibuprofen are STILL up in arms. So to speak.
The dynamic duo ordered filet mignon at an outdoor beer joint. What were they thinking? Needless to say, they didn't get filet mignon... After a mediocre meal, but good drinks, everyone piled back into the hotel room. Barbara and Andy stayed up a while watching Carnaval highlights on the TV and making jokes about Djibouti (I kid you not)...
Big deal. A street fair on Sunday morning. :::yawn::: Andy, paying for his shades and Babs' shades and underwear (yes, more underwear) was winked at by the cashier, who was no doubt hoping to score some new panties of her own. Then they discovered Schwarzwald, and ordered waaay too much food, and submarino beers. Rolling back towards the hotel, Andy suddenly realized that Barbara's panties were missing! The ones in the shopping bag, that is. The shopping bag that had been left at Schwarzwald... Luckily, they were still there when he returned, and more or less intact. After decompressing at the hotel for a few hours and watching the Cartoon Network in Portuguese, Andy and Barbara headed out for dinner, only to find that McDonald's was the only game in town at that hour. After polishing off their McFritas, they relaxed with a beer each, then were besieged by street children selling sob stories and threatening to kiss Babs. When the Policia Militar were prompted to pay a visit to the bar next door to the cafe, our feckless heroes headed back.
Monday. Cab ride. Bus ride. Long bus ride. Ponta Grossa, and Zila's family. Lots of blondish women, all with names starting with the letter Z. A grandmother, acting grandmotherly. A dog. A loud, insistent miniature pinscher, named Polly, to be precise. :::shudder::: I buried myself as deeply in the recorder as I could. Didn't help. He actually SAMPLED the dog. Grrr...
I don't know what the big deal about the Universidade Livre de Meio Ambiente was. No technology in evidence at all. Some rocks, some water, some water fowl. Wow. At any rate, Andy sampled some of the water fowl, who went insane when they heard their own voices played back at them... Andy and Barbara had dinner at a Lebanese place Tuesday night, alone. As in, no other diners at the restaurant. Yipe. Food seems to have been OK, but the service was remarkably slow for an establishment with no customers.
Did someone have to record a Portuguese version of "Who Let the Dogs Out?" Blecch. I didn't need to hear that. Joinville was otherwise uneventful. Well, Babs and Andy almost got married accidentally while waiting for Zila to get a copy of her birth certificate... Back in Curitiba, everyone had an Italian dinner that was strangely lacking in tomato sauce.
Ugh! Thursday morning, Barbara and the genius (and I) were awoken at 6 AM by this sound, which he'd sampled from a public phone. But they decided against the hours-long trip it'd take to get to the shore, despite Andy's desire to get sunburned. They visited some of Curitiba's suburbs instead, while Zila paid another visit to her family in Ponta Grossa. After sharing a bus with some giggling goth girls on the way back from Santa Felicidade, B & A tried to buy some Internet time, only to be shown to the one available computer, which was not working. Ha! A sudden shower sent our heroes into a mall, where they discovered the Pizza Hut they'd figured had to be in town somewhere.
More wilderness on Friday, when the trio visited the Jardim Botanico. Why in the world would you intentionally place yourself beyond the reach of phones, computers, and the Internet? Sheesh. A por-quilo lunch seemed to be unsatisfactory to all three, then some souvenirs were purchased. Andy's plans for a Friday-night chopps-a-thon were squelched by most uncooperative weather; it poured. He and Babs made a valiant attempt, but Mother Nature smirked and let loose with a few lightning bolts, and they turned back. After alternately sulking and helping Barbara come up with a storyline about weary husbands trudging up and down the stairs to retrieve their angry wives wet underwear (which had been whipped off the clotheslines by the weather), Andy was finally able to venture outdoors again. The rain hadn't stopped, but it had let up enough that they could slip out with his umbrella. Of course, the only place they could find to go was... McDonald's. Where they actually stayed 'til closing time. ;)
Well, don't feel too badly for the schmuck. Saturday, Babs, Andy, and Zila went back to Schwarzwald for lunch, and the soul twins returned at night, too, so he got his fill of beer after all. And Sunday... well, Sunday was just great! They flew to Sao Paulo, where they had a layover of about seven hours, and they learned that they couldn't check their bags in for about another four hours. Heh-heh... So, they put 'em in lockers and took a bus into the city. Where they couldn't find an open restaurant. lol Well, after quite a bit of walking, and asking a few people, they did manage to find someplace to eat, as well as the bus back to the airport. Then the plane sat on the runway for a while, and it was announced that, as the plane had been rerouted to a shorter runway due to high winds, and as they needed to lighten it for takeoff, some luggage was being taken off the plane and sent to Houston instead.
Well, when they arrived at Newark International Airport Monday morning, guess whose luggage was not in New Jersey? Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! After filling out a claim with Continental, they finally emerged, almost two hours later than expected. Barbara's driver was nowhere to be found, so she rode to North Arlington with the Silvas, and Andy so kindly drove her home to her unfed kitty. Everyone's luggage turned up the next day, and everything was intact, so unfortunately there was a happy ending, but it was still an amusing trip from my point of view... ;)