Frequently Asked Questions
- Why in the world do you have an FAQ?!?
- Seriously?
- What's the big idea with this Web site?
- When did you start working on it?
- When will you stop working on it?
- Yeah, but-
- How often do you update the site?
- Why isn't there a whole lot of personal stuff about you here?
- What kind of a name is Andersen Silva, anyway?
- What are you, gay?
- I heard a rumour-
- Do you spit or swallow?
- What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
- If the bird of (American) justice is the bald eagle, and
the bird of peace is the dove, then what is the bird of happiness?
- What would you do for a Klondike® Bar?
- How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
- How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?
- Why haven't we seen more of Skinny the Foo?
- I thought your hair was blond. It looks dark to me.
- What's up with your hair, anyway?
- Do you really have a thing for blondes?
- Why does love got to be so sad?
- Do you work here?
- Have you found Jesus?
- What is the meaning of life?
- What's the Jeanine Salla connection?
- Do you know Simonya Popova?
- What's going on between you and Steve Augulis?
- What about between Skinny the Foo and T-GAR?
- Surely you can't be serious!
- Do you come here often?
- What's your marital status?
- Who are/were your heroes?
- Have you ever been drunk?
- Do you smoke?
- Do you, like, get high and stuff?
- Pepsi or Coke?
- Burger King or McDonald's?
- Mac or PC?
- Boxers or briefs?
- John or Paul?
- Half-full or half-empty?
- Cats or dogs?
- What is your favorite...?
- What... is your favorite color?
- How's the music thing coming along?
- What happened to your site on Tripod?
- What would your ultimate movie be?
- Is the Bugle Boy jeans story true?
- What is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life,
the Universe, and Everything?
- Are you for real?
- Are you unbreakable?
- What does "Better that your life be a blur than a blurb"
mean?
- What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
- What's up with the parentheses and semicolons? Sheesh!
- Why do use the word 'apparently' so much?
- Are you a friggin' nomad?
- Will you ever lighten up?
- I've heard you don't sleep much.
- Are you a Jedi or something?
- Do we have a tarp?
- Why do you have so many friggin' computers?!?
- Um... "Sexiest Geek Alive?"
- Are we there yet?
- Does anybody really know what time it is?
- What's that up in the road, a head?
- Can you hear me now?
- What's with the "...of Death!" thing?
- Why are there so few questions here?
- Why in the world do you have an FAQ?!?
Well, why not? I'm sure somebody's going to ask some of these questions... Some
people have asked me some of them already, and I think some of them were
intelligence agents.
- Seriously?
Hey, I can't make this stuff up.
- What's the big idea with this Web site?
What the hell's that supposed to mean?!? Hey, I've been lurking around in
cyberspace since 1994. I recognized the Web as an ideal medium for the expression of my
artistic and philosophical musings, as well as a nice place to represent myself
autobiographically, and, well... here I am.
- When did you start working on it?
The first Web site I had up was back when I was still on Netcom, probably in 1997. I hadn't
yet decided to call it "Extreme Close-Up," and it wasn't much to look at, just four or five
pages with two or three pictures, a few measly graphics, and some text about me. It started
to grow slowly, and by the time I moved the site to Tripod, I had come up with a name and
more of a concept for the site you see before you now, which has grown by leaps and bounds
since then. It's now got its own domain and is hosted by
Itsamac.com MacHighway.com,
a move I made when Tripod inexplicably took down my entire site while I was vacationing in Brazil. Grrr...
- When will you stop working on it?
Never. Yesterday. Or tomorrow. Haven't decided yet.
- Yeah, but-
Quit it. Next question, please...
- How often do you update the site?
There really is no schedule set in stone. I did write a new Vitriol (and then Being)
and come up with a new Word of the Month once a month (imagine that) back during the '00s.
Since then, though, I add stuff as it comes to me. Status updates get posted pretty
frequently on Facebook and Twitter, I'm 'blogging again (through Google's Blogger) every several
days or so, and new writing and new pictures get added to the site whenever I find myself with them.
- Why isn't there a whole lot of personal stuff about you here?
Are you serious?!? There is a whole lot of personal stuff about me here. Some
might say there's TMI. It's not all on one page, though, and if you really want to learn
about me, you're going to have to dig through the site and do your research. You're
not going to find much detail regarding my love life, past or present, however. This is
partly because I don't talk too much about it even in real life, and partly out of respect for
the women involved. I'll tell you almost anything about myself, but it's not my place to tell
personal stories involving others. I have mentioned some of my ups and downs, and
certainly my poetry and song lyrics should give some insight. But I'm not going to discuss
past or present (or future) relationships with any kind of detail here. There's more than enough
speculation anyway. ;) And that's really all I have to say about
that.
- What kind of a name is Andersen Silva, anyway?
No kind of name. I didn't pick it! Silva is a common enough surname among
Brazilians and Portuguese (and Italians, to a lesser extent). My parents reportedly each
wanted a different spelling of my given name; my mother wanted 'Andersen' (though her first
choice was Clayton!), my father 'Anderson.' Guess who won? ;) It's
hardly a common first name, among the Brazilians or anyone else (though I have discovered
other Andersens on the Internet) but, hey, I like it. I just wish more of you would learn to
spell it correctly! Anderson Silva is a different Brazilian guy altogether.
- What are you, gay?
No, I'm not gay. Is that even a real question? ;) I've been the subject of
many rumors over the years, with varying degrees of veracity, ranging from one or two that were completely
true, to several that were completely false. I learned long ago that the best way to deal
with a rumor is to ignore it, as long as that's possible. One that's cropped up more than
once regards my sexuality. lol I am quite comfortable in my
heterosexuality, comfortable enough to joke about it. I've never felt the need to jump on or
ogle one female after another, or to frequent disreputable clubs and bars, to prove my
manhood. :::shrugging::: I know, and a few women know, just how
heterosexual I am, and that's really all that matters, isn't it?
- I heard a rumour-
Oh, great, Bananarama's in the house. Didn't I just discuss this? Half the lies they tell
about me aren't even true. Which half? Well, there's the tricky bit. Don't expect any
help from me in sorting it out. I've gotten to the point where I enjoy hearing the rumors
about myself as much as everyone else does. Heh-heh-heh...
- Do you spit or swallow?
Actually, I don't really like chewing gum, do it very rarely. But when I do, of
course I spit it out when I'm done. Does anyone actually swal- wait a minute!
Steve, I don't think you were referring to gum at all! Why, I oughta-
- What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
- If the bird of (American) justice is the bald eagle, and
the bird of peace is the dove, then what is the bird of happiness?
Why, the swallow, of course! :::grin:::
- What would you do for a Klondike® Bar?
Heeeyyy, now we're gettin' personal. The knowledge would probably shatter all your
preconceived notions about me. Which wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing, but I'm not
going to let you risk it. And let's not even discuss Kit-Kats. Fragile eggshell minds...
- How many roads must a man walk down before you call him a man?
The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind.
- How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center
of a Tootsie Pop?
OK, now this is just getting silly. Where do you people come up with these
questions?!?
- Why haven't we seen more of Skinny the Foo?
Now that is a good question! I'm glad you asked that. Wait a minute... no, I'm not.
;) The three characters I've created over the
years decades
(Skinny, Wombatman, and Chicken Fingers) may eventually get more exposure (woo-hoo!) on the site, but
bear in mind that that is not the artistic field in which my talents, such as they are, lie.
And besides, I'm busy.
- I thought your hair was blond. It looks dark to me.
It's both. It's dark blond. What is this, the Enquirer? For the record, I started life
with incredibly blond hair, almost bleached-looking, and over the years it's gotten
darker and darker. It's still considered blond, though, and the longer I let it grow,
the more you can see the blondness. There are a few greys mixed in there now, but not many, and
one of the nice things about blond hair is that it makes the greys harder to ssee. While we're
discussing my physical attributes, my eyes really are blue, too, even if they do tend to
turn red in camera flashes. ;P
- What's up with your hair, anyway?
I get bored with my hairstyle. Some people change wardrobes constantly, get tattoos or
piercings, dye their hair, accessorize: I just do something different with the hair on
my head or on my face (or both). It's always fun to see the reactions to my going from
shoulder-length hair to an inch-long spiky 'do. Or wearing a goatee for three weeks,
then shaving it off. I have a thick head of hair that grows fairly quickly, so I've decided to use
it as a canvas. Works for me...!
- Do you really have a thing for blondes?
Yes. And I've always willing to show it to them. ;) I don't know why I
prefer blondes; and keep your Freudian/Oedipal crap to yourself. Heh-heh-heh. Actually, my
mom turned over to my possession in 2001 a letter I'd written to my young blonde 'girlfriend'
and given to my mom to mail (she never did, as I didn't even have an address on it) when I was
seven or so. Wow, I started young... I don't like blondes exclusively, though, and my
dating experiences will attest to that. So don't go taking the lyrics to "Blond on Blonde"
too literally. Sometimes a song is just a song! ;)
- Why does love got to be so sad?
That's grammatically incorrect, Eric. And I don't know anyway. Nor do I know who wrote
the book of love, why you must be a teenager in love, or what's so funny 'bout peace,
love, and understanding. Sorry. Go ask ? and the Mysterians.
- Do you work here?
AAAUUGGGHHHHHHH!!! Damn you people, do you follow me around?!? No, I do not work here!
- Have you found Jesus?
Is he missing again? Well, to be honest, I wasn't really looking for him; every
man for himself, I say. Andy helps those who help themselves.
- What is the meaning of life?
There is no meaning, not inherently. Life is what you make of it. As I've been
saying for years, you only go around once, make the most of it while you're here.
Everybody's 'meaning' is unique.
- What's the Jeanine Salla connection?
Jeanine was an AI therapist I hired to help me with some problems with getting Dana
(the iBook, not the woman) to run LinuxPPC. There was no, I repeat no, other
relationship between us. So quit buggin' me.
- Do you know Simonya Popova?
I can safely say that I know her as well as anyone else does. Not in the carnal
sense, sadly. But I think it's also safe to say that I'm not alone there...
- What's going on between you and Steve Augulis?
Um, nothing, really. He's a nice guy 'n all, but he lives hundreds of miles away, and... oh,
you meant- Steve and I both worked at Toys "R" Us many years ago and collaborated on the
Underground Giraffe while there. We worked well together on that project and
each certainly appreciated the other's sense of humor (during Steve's brief stint doing
standup, we considered teaming up to write material), and when Steve finally hit the Web with
both fists in late 1999, we linked to each other's sites, dredged up some UG
references, and began using each other as foils. I think it was mutually beneficial. There was
nothing sinister about Steve signing my guestbook more than possibly anyone else. Really. He
also did some of the artwork for my album Joy in the New, but I haven't heard from my
former partner-in-crime in years.
- What about between Skinny the Foo and T-GAR?
Well, um, that's a little more, er, delicate. I don't know if I can really go into that
here, not without Steve and our lawyers present.
- Surely you can't be serious!
I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.
- Do you come here often?
What?!? I've rarely ever had a pickup line used on me. Heh-heh-heh... If by 'here' you mean the Web,
well, yeah, I'm a regular here. When I signed up with AOL (:::shudder:::) back in 1994, I was
paying $10 a month for five hours of access. That soon turned out to be a bad plan.
lol Nowadays, I can spend a few hours online in a single day, though
I try to juggle my music and other interests with the Internet.
- What's your marital status?
Who's askin'? I've never been married, though I guess I came sorta close with Karen, and not as
close as I'd have liked with Gina.
- Who are/were your heroes?
I don't think I've ever really considered anyone a hero. There's no one I would want to
be 'just like.' No one is perfect, myself included, and I don't see why I should want my
particular bundle of good and bad qualities to be identical to anyone else's, even if it
were possible to emulate them that closely. People I've admired for one reason or another,
however, include John Lennon, Pete Townshend, Mohandas Gandhi, Galileo Galilei, Albert
Einstein, Martin Luther King, Jr., David Bowie, Preston Tucker, Boris Yeltsin, Tori Amos,
Abraham Lincoln, Chuck Berry, the Dalai Lama, and Antonio and Zila Silva. :)
These are, of course, only those names that came to mind at the moment...
- Have you ever been drunk?
Prior to 1997, I could've answered that with a firm "no." I'm not much of a drinker under
normal circumstances, and staying in control is very important to me. I must confess,
though, that I've had three, maybe four serious lapses, one of them involving being
thrown out of a club, another involving a near-concussive (and probably accidentally
self-inflicted) blow to the temple. I think I have an addictive personality. Fortunately,
there's enough of the control freak in me to keep that in check. I drink on occasion, but I will
never let myself lose it again.
- Do you smoke?
I have never smoked. Nothin'. Not a cigarette, not a joint, not a hookah, not sausage...
I've just never been able to see the attraction. My father smoked 'til he was about 46,
but obviously that wasn't an incentive for me to try. Drugs in general hold no interest
for me; yes, I do have the occasional alcoholic beverage, but that's really not very
often, and it's often for social reasons, not to get 'high' or just because.
But smoking always made the least sense to me.
- Do you, like, get high and stuff?
Uh, no. Heh-heh... I have never heard a good reason for trying any potentially mind-altering
chemicals, and so I've never tried any. Unless you count tequila; strange stuff. When I
visited Cancún with Yesika, we of course took in copious amounts of Mexico's
national drink; in one night, I awoke three times from vivid nightmares! And I
rarely remember my dreams, let alone nightmares... Other than distilled blue agave juice
(and one drink that had some absinthe in it), though, I only take ibuprofen or pseudoephedrine when
absolutely unavoidable. I'd rather give my body a chance to fight its own battles. Though there have
been many who've been certain that I must have dropped acid, or at least smoked pot, at
some point in my life (and I once heard a rumor that I dropped out of college after getting tangled
up in drugs! lol), the truth is that I always knew better. I didn't even drink,
really, until I was 19 or 20. My mind is a zany ride to begin with...
- Pepsi or Coke?
The joy of cola is... Pepsi!
- Burger King or McDonald's?
Not as easy to answer as it would have back in high school. I was a die-hard ("Yippie
ki-yay...") Burger King disciple in those days. Lately, however, I must confess to a
certain dissatisfaction with the King's product (though I do like the chicken club
sandwich that's out now). And the fries...! My god, what have you done with your fries?!?
I'm afraid that I lean towards the clown in the yellow suit now... though frankly I prefer
Wendy's to either of those.
- Mac or PC?
I am practically a Mac evangelist. In fact, you could call me a Mac daddy...
Heh-heh-heh. I prefer any Macintosh OS to any of Microsoft's offerings; I also dabble in
other operating systems, though, and at the moment have MacOS 9 and OS X, Windows 2000 Server
and Server 2003 (as well as Vista and 7), Ubuntu Linux, Solaris 9, BeOS, and IRIX 6.5 all running on
some box or virtual machine or another.
- Boxers or briefs?
Oh, for- Briefs, OK?!?
- John or Paul?
Well, I'm not really a religious man... oh, wait, you're talking about the Beatles,
aren't you? ;) That one's easy: John, definitely. I didn't really
know who John Lennon or the Beatles were in 1980, but I remember feeling sad when I heard
that he'd been killed. When I got older and started listening to his music, with and without
the Beatles, and reading about the band and the man, I felt an affinity with him, and I
still do. I believe my feelings on politics, capitalism, and religion have a lot in
common with his, and I would have loved to have met the man and talked for hours and
hours and hours... before picking up my guitar and trying to jam with him. ;)
- Half-full or half-empty?
Who cares, it's somebody else's glass anyway...
- Cats or dogs?
I am most emphatically a cat person. Just worked out that way. I have nothing against dogs, and
haven't ever had a bad experience with one, but I like that cats don't smell, are generally much more
independent (aloof, even!), and don't usually greet you at the door jumping up and down maniacally.
lol Cats almost always take to me immediately, too, which is nice. I've always
said I've got some cat blood in me, and they recognize that.
- What is your favorite...?
I don't like answering 'favorite' questions. Maybe it's the Libra in me (and there
certainly have been enough people telling me that), but I generally can't pick one
favorite band/album/song/movie/place to die/etc. One notable exception is artist; I love
Salvador Dalí's work, more so than any other artist of whom I can think.
However, for the curious (and/or bored), here is a list:
- Bands/artists: the Beatles, David Bowie, Nine Inch Nails, Pink Floyd, the Who, Aimee Mann, Tori Amos, Regina Spektor
- Albums: "The Wall" (Pink Floyd), "Year Zero" (Nine Inch Nails), "Little Earthquakes" (Tori Amos), "Human Being" (Seal)
- Songs: "One Of My Turns" (Pink Floyd), "happiness in slavery" (Nine Inch Nails),
"Let My Love Open The Door" (Pete Townshend), "Just Like Heaven" (the Cure)
- Christmas songs: "Happy Xmas (War Is Over)" (John Lennon and the Plastic Ono
Band), "Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)" (U2), "Christmas Wrapping" (the
Waitresses), "Christmas With The Devil" (Spinal Tap)
- Movies: "Spaceballs," "Return Of The Jedi" (most people prefer "Empire," but
I think it was Leia in that slave girl outfit that swayed me), "2001: A Space
Odyssey," "Magnolia," "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?"
- Books: the "Foundation" series (Isaac Asimov), the "Dune" series (Frank Herbert),
"Kama Sutra" (Vatsyayana), "Bag of Bones" (Stephen King), "Letters from the Earth"
(Mark Twain)
- Alcoholic drinks: tequila sunrise, tequila shots, Tom Collins, cuba
libre, raspberry daiquiri, Samuel Adams Boston Lager, Guinness Stout
- Dwarves: Grumpy, Doc
- Video games: Tomb Raider II, Soul Calibur II, Grand Theft Auto IV, Spyhunter (my all-time fave growing up), Gauntlet
- Fruits: raspberry, pineapple
- Monty Pythoners: John Cleese, Eric Idle
- Madonna looks: Like A Prayer, True Blue
- Doctor Who portrayers: Tom Baker, Colin Baker, Rowan Atkinson
- Comic strips: "Bloom County," "Dilbert," "Doonesbury," "The Far Side," "Boondocks"
- "Star Trek" series: "Star Trek: TOS" (if you were a real fan, you'd know
that that stands for The Original Series), "Star Trek: Deep Space Nine"
- "Star Trek" movies: there can be only one, "Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan" (duh)
- Sexual positions: Steve, for the last time, I'm not going to answer that one!
- Colognes: Armani Diamonds for Men, Égoïste Platinum by Chanel
- Deities: Odin, Athena, Ahurah Mazdah, Isis
- Rebel Alliance vehicles: X-wing fighter, A-wing fighter
- David Bowie incarnations: Ziggy Stardust, Aladdin Sane
- What... is your favorite color?
Black. No, wait, purple... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!
- How's the music thing coming along?
Joy in the New, my debut album, was finally released to almost universal ennui on August 3, 2004.
(Go ahead and look it up, we'll wait here for you.) You should really invest in a copy, if you haven't
done so already. I'm still writing and recording new songs, and I tentatively plan to release a second album,
Tougher Than Flannel, probably in 2012. Jon and I hope to work on some Not An Exit stuff again, too.
- What happened to your site on Tripod?
I don't know, actually. After spending weeks completely revamping and updating my
Web site, I uploaded it to Tripod on February 28th, 2001, only to get confused E-mails
the next morning from people who claimed the site was gone. I tried visiting it
myself and found they were right, so I uploaded everything again and E-mailed Tripod,
receiving an apology from them a while later. I then left for Brazil, under the
impression that everything was OK again. Upon my return to the States on March 12th,
I learned that the site had disappeared again within another day or two, and had been
down since! I angrily E-mailed Tripod asking for an explanation; to this day, I have
not received an E-mail from them. Doesn't matter now, anyway. I've got my own domain,
hosted by MacHighway.com, with whom
I'm very happy indeed, and those annoying pop-up ads are ancient history! Heh-heh-heh...
- What would your ultimate movie be?
OK, this could never happen, but I'd love to see "Mel Brooks' 'Abbott and Costello
Meet Godzilla vs. Dracula, Frankenstein, and the Wolfman in the Twilight Zone III.'"
Wouldn't you?
- Is the Bugle Boy jeans story true?
It is completely true. It's a funny anecdote, but it also goes to show that a) I have
horrible luck with cars, and b) I don't know what b) is. If you don't know what story
I'm referring to, see the Anecdotes page.
- What is the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the
Universe, and Everything?
Forty-two.
- Are you for real?
Is anybody for real? Really? I believe I've represented myself rather accurately on
this Web site. Read all the writing, see all the pictures, and you will get some insight
into the man behind... well, whatever it is I'm standing behind. Looks like a Wall from
here... Is it all 100% factual and serious? Hellz, no. But I also believe it's rather easy
to differentiate the jokes from the reality. If not, then I'd be very interested in
learning just what it is you think I am. ;)
- Are you unbreakable?
No such luck. Heh-heh-heh... Well, it is true that I've never broken a bone (with
the possible exception of a toe or two, when I was younger; I never went to the doctor,
so I don't know), but I've certainly suffered my share of injuries. Three stitches to close
up a gash in my scalp, another gash on my big toe and one on my finger (and another on the scalp)
that probably should have gotten stitches, a Frisbee to the nose when I was very young, and
numerous sunburns, including one when I was really young that reportedly brought
tears to the doctor's eyes! I've been remarkably free from disease and infection, though,
and with the exception of a tonsillectomy and a brief bout with high blood pressure (and
the afore-mentioned stitches), I've never had to spend more than thirty minutes in a
doctor's office or hospital. I'm fairly certain it doesn't mean I'm a superhero, though,
Superman complex or not...
- What does "Better that your life be a blur than a blurb" mean?
I thought it was obvious. :-P I came up with this saying sometime
around '98 or '99, and while it was originally sorta tongue-in-cheek, it seems to have become
something of a personal motto. Heh-heh... If you can't break it down semantically, think of
it this way: when you're dead and gone, would you like the list of your deeds and achievements
to be dizzying in their scope and number, or would you rather have your eulogizer be able to
sum up your entire life in a sentence or two? In other words, while I sometimes feel a bit
overwhelmed by life, I'd rather deal with the craziness and the pain than look back with regret
on a not-quite-full life from my deathbed. I think I can safely say that I have lived and have
experienced life, as young as I
am was. "If you don't FEEL, then you're not alive..."
- What kind of noise annoys an oyster?
A noisy noise annoys an oyster!
- What's up with the parentheses and semicolons? Sheesh!
I do use a lot of parentheses (sometimes even parentheses nested inside other
parentheses (kinda like this!)), don't I? I'm not too sure when it started, or why; I
don't know about the semicolons, either. I guess they're just part of my writing style.
It's not grammatically incorrect (though there are doubtless those who frown upon what
they might view as my overuse of such items; screw 'em, I say!), however, so I will
continue to write the way I like. End of question; on to the next.
- Why do you use the word 'apparently' so much?
In everyday speech, I do use this word a lot. I'd have to attribute this to my
skepticism and aesthelosophical quest. If I'm not completely confident in the veracity
of a statement, then I qualify it. Not everything I think I know has turned out to be
true; how about you? The world has enough know-it-alls. I'm quite willing to admit that
I don't know everything, and that my sources and my beliefs may turn out to be
incorrect. Apparently, that annoys some people. So much the better.
- Are you a friggin' nomad?
Not as such... I do tend to move around a lot, though, don't I? Since moving out of
my parents' house at the age of 21, I've lived in Garfield, Teaneck, Ridgefield Park,
Somerset, Nutley, Somerset again, and now Lyndhurst. There are undoubtedly a lot of people who
would read too much into that fact, but really I've just adjusted to changing circumstances
around me. Come to think of it, my family moved around several times as I was growing up, too...
I've actually been in Lyndhurst since late 2003 now, making it the longest-lasting of my
residences.
- Will you ever lighten up?
Who let you in here? I am an open-minded and fairly loose (in a manner of speaking)
sort of fellow. I don't follow ideologies blindly, whether they're political, social,
sexual, or superstitious in nature. But there are a handful of things (and people) I hold
sacred, things (and people) I would die for. And when I feel, I feel with an incredible
passion, the negative as well as the positive. It's the artist in me. I've absorbed a lot
of pain, but pain's a funny thing. Some pain can never be completely swallowed; part of it
will always be caught in the throat, rotting and slowly choking one to death. There, that
was pretty light, wasn't it? ;P
- I've heard you don't sleep much.
I'm sorry, that wasn't phrased in the form of a question... ;P
It's true, though. If it weren't for the physical requirements of this damned corporeal mass,
I wouldn't sleep at all. Alas, that's not really an option. I was averaging
4½ - 5½ hours a night, and generally an additional hour or two on the weekends,
but these days I usually get about half an hour more than that. To my knowledge, it hasn't
impaired my functioning.
- Are you a Jedi or something?
I do have some sharp reflexes, and I do own a few lightsabers (the cheap toys, not the
expensive replicas)... but if I had Jedi mind powers, my Friday nights as a bachelor would have
been a lot busier. So, no, I'm not.
- Do we have a tarp?
Whether it's a band of raccoons, Julia Child, Grant and Matt, the elk, or an ex-cat asking
the question, the answer is still no.
- Why do you have so many friggin' computers?!?
Why do you ask so many friggin' questions?!? Well, back in the day, I used to be a
one-computer kinda guy. I had a Timex Sinclair 1000, which was replaced by a
Commodore VIC-20, which was replaced by a Commodore 128... When I bought the Apple
Performa 550, my first Macintosh, I kept the 128 for a while, but eventually I sold
it to a friend (a mistake, in hindsight). A few years later, I bought a used PC from
my job, which was a bit old but still faster than the Performa. Then I bought a used
PowerMac 6100 on eBay a year later. And a year after that, I bought an Apple
iBook. So, for a few short weeks in late 2000, I actually owned four, count 'em four,
working computers. Heh-heh... I sold the Performa to another friend who wanted an
introduction to computers at home, and I gave the PC to my father so he
could get some more hands-on experience, and I was left with two Macs. Until the
spring of 2002, when Barbara and I stumbled upon a Power Macintosh 7200 (along with a
monitor, keyboard, mouse, and modem), and I just couldn't resist. Hey, it was a bargain!
And a few weeks after that, one of my co-workers asked if I'd be
interested in taking her old computer off her hands, as she and her husband had just
bought a new one. I agreed to look at it, assuming it was a PC, and was pleasantly
surprised to find that it was a PowerMac 7100, with a 17" monitor and a laser printer!
Shortly thereafter, I decided to buy a used Commodore 128 and a 1571 floppy disk
drive on eBay, and a few months after that, I went back to eBay for an
IBM PC, a Sun SparcStation 5, a Silicon Graphics Indy, and two Commodore Amiga 3000s
(only one of which boots up anymore), and I acquired a Compaq laptop and a Quadra 605
somewhere along the way as well, so I've actually got a dozen or so working computers
now. But you'll rarely see more than two, maybe three, running concurrently...
- Um... "Sexiest Geek Alive?"
No, I didn't win it, but yes, I was in the running. Heh-heh... I was entered into the
May 2001 online voting poll, and supposedly did well, but didn't win and therefore was
not a finalist for the Sexiest Geek Alive pageant in San José in June. No big loss;
I had trouble believing I was either sexy enough or geeky enough to be considered in the
first place. ;)
- Are we there yet?
No!
- Does anybody really know what time it is?
Does anybody really care?
- What's that up in the road, a head?
No, no, no! It's "What's that up in the road ahead?!?"
- Can you hear me now?
What?
- What's with the "...of Death!" thing?
My former cohort Steve Augulis originated the idea of putting the words "...of Death!"
after some innocuous thing (as in "the eyes... of death!" or "the spoon... of death!"),
knocking the wind out of the whole fear... of death! (er, fear of death; sorry). We both
came up with some Items... of Death! during the Underground Giraffe days, and
at some point during the evolution of this Web site, I decided to call the photos
section the Gallery... of Death! When I began 'blogging again in early 2011, I promptly
christened it the 'Blog...of Death!, too. Some things never die.
- Why are there so few questions here?
Well, these are only the frequently asked questions. Ask me some more, repeatedly,
and I'll add them to the list. Let's have a little audience participation here!
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